Farewell Temptation

It was never my intention to crush that beautiful heart of yours. It pains me to wish you farewell as I am one to sympathise, as I am one who knows this pain well. May you breathe freely, may your chest not experience that stinging ache. The more you suffer, the more I will despise myself for inflicting harm on you.

Harm that could have been avoided if only I wasn't so irrational, if only I wasn't curious to find you out. I am not pitting myself for I am aware that I deserve your dislike. Nevertheless, know that me liking you has come from deep within and the feelings have matched the words that I spoke.

The excitement and honeymoon period have worn off and my sight is clear now. So clear that I cannot avoid to see that what we have left is not a strong enough foundation built to last as much as I would like to cling on to what we had, what we were. It would be foolish to ignore the massive gap between you and I as the differences overrule our similarities.

We knew this from the very start but we chose to ignore this fact and give in to lust, to temptation. I enjoyed every minute of it and I will keep you in good memory for the good moments are the precious ones to remember and keep.

Now go out into the world and be you, explore it and yourself. May you concur the demons within, discover strength, learn to care only for your own perspective of yourself and find the lady who will fall in love with you every day anew.

Chemical Reactions That Cause Illusions

Your charm has caught my attention.

Your flattering words have weakened my knees.

I got intrigued by you.

We played tag and you won.

I dare to say it was not just success that you were after,

it was the mere excitement of playing that kept you at it. 

Hormones released, chemical reactions caused, 

an inevitable reaction for freaks of nature. 

The result, you linger on my mind now. 

A simple equation. 

A feeling of want, that I despise, has taken over.

I despise for it changes everything.

Feelings change everything.

But nothing shall be changed as change means losing control, losing sanity.

You saw me standing firm on my feet 

and now you realise what power you have to push me closer to the edge. 

My clumsy nature may cause me to fall. 

So I reverse the game of playing tag and am merely standing still. 

Nothing to chase, nothing to catch.

I will miss playing tag and I will miss being your wanted target 

as I want to be your only target.

It might just be the dopamine talking.

Dopamine released in my brain due to your actions 

that now give me the illusion to want you. 

However, it is this illusion that people eventually call love.

But this was never the intention nor the point of playing tag in the first place. 

So I will stand still as the mere thought of the crash after the fall frightens me. 

I beg to question whether you will catch me and share my rush or whether 

you will turn a blind eye the millisecond before my body collides with the ground. 

We were just playing tag, a dangerous game at times.