Saturday, 9 July 2011

The Fear Of Love

In the end, we are all just looking to be loved and to love unconditionally with our hearts wide open, bare and safe in someone else's possession. It is the mere fear that holds us back and has us build up a front for this precious treasure called heart not to be ruined by someone else who, like ourselves, is just as scared to break it or have it broken.

We are hardened by our reputation, like a war hero scaring the enemy, not to make her our enemy but to proof to her and ourselves that we may not be defeated. That we protect what breaks us most without admitting our weakness. Like a dog that barks but dares not to bite for it only is scared.

It is not only the fear that has us shield our own treasure but also the fear that we might not be suited guardians of someone else's heart. It is an enormous responsibility that we have not asked for or maybe we did ask for it by mistake. Misguided by curiosity and irrationality, tasting the forbidden fruit. But one will not dare to hold on to someone else's heart if one does not have the will and guts to take care of it. One has no choice but to break it, like ripping off a plaster fast, as neglecting it is only the cruel escape. Breaking someone's heart must be like cutting a baby's throat with a bread knife but the baby survives just like your last sweetheart did. The scar will be left on her heart and not on her throat, invisible, but still with the memory of the sharp knife-like pain.

The fear of love, the fear to break or to be broken, can leave us lonely and confused, maybe frustrated at times. It is education that makes us wise but who is going to teach us love but ourselves? So we are left with experience. We have to burn our fingers for us to know that fire will burn us. We therefore have no choice but to give our hearts away and we will have to take on the responsibility to look after someone else's heart. We will have to break and we will have to be broken, so that one day we will trust someone enough to take care of our heart and we will be ready to be the carer of theirs.