Irrationality's merely the cause of feelings being unleashed..

I can only be passionate when faced with passion..

Naked Cravings

You stood me up while I was naked. Left me with your fingerprints all over my body, the memory of your kiss on my lips, the sweet juice of excitement between my legs, craving for more. Craving you.
I'm still naked although dressed. I'm still exposed although covered with my duvet. I'm still wet although alone. I'm still craving for more. Craving you.

You stood me up while I was naked. Said you had to run. Stole my last kisses in a haste. Left me with more fingerprints that now burn my skin. I love this burning sensation. I want more. I want you.
Play Connect the Dots on my body to burn me some more. Burn my breasts, my back, my hips, my thighs, my clit, my lips. Burn me inside out.

You stood me up while I was naked. You left me with an experience that now seems impossible to cover up with clothes, wash off with a shower, wipe out with a night's sleep. When you left, you left me naked.
You took the clothes that could cover me, the water that could shower me, the dreams that could have wiped out this memory that begs and craves for more. Craves for you.

'I miss you so bad' you said. I shall peel my skin off slowly, carefully, for you to keep. Take the fingerprints, take the burns, take the craving. Feel my nakedness on your fingertips and burn yourself.
My skin will grow back, fresh, young and smooth. Without marks. Without burns. Without prints. Without memory. Without the feeling of nakedness and exposure. But until then I'll still be craving for more. Craving you.

In Solitude

In solitude is where I find myself every day anew.. I wake up to myself, in my universe of thoughts.. My eyes capture pictures, images of places, streets, buildings, the endless sky and nature.. I’m a voyeur to my surroundings.. In my mind everything and everyone I see has a story to tell, although unknown to me but somehow written all over them..

In solitude my ears are pleasured by the sounds of life.. Colourful noises remind me that I am alive.. I have the freedom to choose whether I want the sweet sound of music to lift me up, sweep me off my feet and carry me wherever it will or whether I want to tune in to life itself and be met by random beats that this city has to offer..

In solitude I am free.. Free to feel, read my own emotions, interpret my mood, my actions and my reactions with explanations a spoken word could not describe.. In solitude I have met myself many times all over again for the first time and for this reason know myself better now than I claim to know anything at all.. In solitude I am aware of who I am..

In solitude I experience more than I could ever share with anyone and the excitement I feel inside belongs to me and no one else.. I would not dare to explain my discoveries to someone who does not own my eyes, my ears or my heart as only they have seen, heard and felt the truth at first hand.. For no one else shall have the power for my findings to be altered into a translation that suits their own persona..

In solitude I am as content as I am when I share precious moments with people who are dear to me.. Laughter, happiness and even pain are best shared, shared with the ones you love and trust as togetherness is the sweetener of life..

While I walk in solitude, at times accompanied by my dearest ones, strangers and random followers, I shall never forget love as in solitude I will remain until it will find its way back to me..

Just Another One

You think you’ve scored, you pat yourself on your shoulders, you even get people's approving nod and wink.. Have you not realised that I’m no trophy and that you haven’t won a prize? It’s merely a short term allowance for you to see what I refuse for others to look at, to touch what others crave to feel.. I’m the one in charge, I’m the one who gives permission or who denies access..

And you, you’re just another one, nothing special, whether you’re gorgeous is none important nor is your job title, the money in your bank account or anything else that you may call an achievement.. You’ve been chosen by me like a toy off the shelf, you’ve been chosen to please me, entertain me, excite me and satisfy me.. There’s something about you that must have woken my curiosity, something that made me want to feel your touch, your strength, your aggression or maybe you’re just here to boost my ego..

And if you perform exactly as how I imagined you would, I will want more, I will exhaust you, there won’t be any limits until you bore me.. But as much pleasure as you may gain from this experience, you’re still just another one as the pleasure I get from it, is way more important than you’ll ever be..

(If I'm just a challenge, then you're 'Just Another One')

A kiss needs to go through my entire body, it has to electrify me, it has to get me to crave for more, it has to be spontaneous and whether it is gentle or filled with lust, it most importantly has to be passionate.. It's all about passion, everything is..

The Journey

We walk streets I've never walked before but I know somehow that they belong to us..

We've made them ours, we've claimed them.. Everything stops when we decide to stop, no-one would dare to cross our path..

Connected by our hands, by our minds.. You and I..

It doesn't matter where we've started and our destination holds no importance..It's the journey itself that matters, in which we indulge in, in which we lose ourselves to find ourselves again..

Freedom is ours..

The Animal Within

I'm a cat and I like to stray, I like to be adored, I'll let you pet me if I feel like it but I might scratch your face if you make a wrong move.. It's just for protection you see, I don't mean any harm by it..

I catch mice because they're cute but tend to be naïve enough not to realise that I'll eat them alive.. I never mean to though but I'm a cat you see, it's what we do..

I'm a cat but I fall for dogs, they excite me.. Their never ending enthusiasm attracts me.. Dogs though, not very classy creatures, bark too much, chase their own tail but gosh they take my fancy.. But you know what they say about cats and dogs don't you?! I know too well as I got bitten too many times..

What can I tell you? I'm a cat and I like to stray... I've come across mice, I've come across dogs.. I've consumed and I've been consumed.. For all I know, I ought to stay away from both..

If I'm lucky I might meet another cat but cats you see are rare to find.. Elegant creatures, witty but so quite and gentle on their paws that you may not even realise that you are in their presence.. Even if you catch a glance in the corner of your eyes you may only catch their shadow..

Cats are clever, so don't try to lure us, we don't fall for whatever you have to offer as we take pride in our independency..
It's trust we seek, truth we want, kindness we desire and if you gain our heart we may stay for good..

I would have..

If I hadn’t locked my heart away into a cage,

I could have fallen for you.

I would have fallen as if there was no ground beneath my feet,

I would have fallen as if I was sky diving,

I would have fallen as if the fresh wind was softly caressing my cheeks

and I would have loved the feeling.

But soon I would have lost a piece of my heart to you,

I would have had tears in my eyes due the sudden icy wind,

I would have hit the ground hard,

I would have craved the feeling of falling

and I wouldn’t have been able to cope with the abrupt standstill down there on the ground.

As much as I’m curious to know as how it would have felt to fall for you,

I’m grateful that your cautiousness provided me with the keys that locked my heart cage.

Love

Life throws all sorts of shit at us but at the same time there’s no situation that wouldn’t provide us with a solution.

Love however is a subject that we humans seem to struggle with, a lot!

When we don’t have it, we crave it.

When we do have it, we question it.

And when we loose it, it hurts so much that we can physically feel it.

No matter how power hungry or distracted we may seem,

love is always the one thing that will control us more than we can ever imagine to control anything.



Independent Woman

Keep me company, just for a little while..

Wrap your body around mine so that I feel like I belong for a moment..

Make my adrenaline hit the roof to let me feel happiness in the dark hour of the night..

Then leave quietly in the morning so that I can be the independent woman that I am..

Contentment in Togetherness

I came to realise that love and togetherness sometimes do not go hand in hand..

One may be single but loved and another may be in a relationship but unfulfilled..

Love and togetherness, it seems, is only possible for the one who is willing to compromise to live life differently than one has intended..

But true love in fact realises the importance of living one's life and that compromises would contradict this very understanding..

We all desire freedom, desire life and as individuals we all have individual perceptions of what life is meant to be like..

Our passion, our desire, ways we choose for ourselves to grow, are rarely fully compatible with one-another..

And just to state this clearly, I'm not talking about the simplicity of existence, as this is something we all do.. I'm talking about living life, feeling alive, the ultimate form a human being can achieve..

It may be bitter that I can't fall in love with the naive, the attached, the "blind" as this one, I'm sure, would stay forever.. But this one, I know, I would never truly love and I would never be fulfilled with..

So I guess once we have grown and lived as we've desired to grow and live, we may find contentment in togetherness after all..

You're erasing me over and over again.. The pencil isn't sharpened anymore and nearly worn out.. There's not much graphite left either so be careful because the next time you erase me, I might be gone for good..

no one but me and thoughts of you

I caught myself thinking of you while I waded through the snow covered streets last night.. It was freezing cold but it didn't matter.. It was snowing and the streets were quite, there was no one but me and thoughts of you..

I looked down to my boots, followed their every step, wishing they would carry me to you.. My destination was home but I questioned if that's where I'm meant to go.. I kept walking, I just wanted to escape the cold..

I still wanted to escape once I got home because there was still no one but me and thoughts of you..

So I keep walking like a blind man without a white cane or any sense of orientation.. Just hoping that by coincidence I will find the right track that will lead me to you.. Because even though I'm surrounded by life and people, it feels like there's no one but me and thoughts of you..

Bus 29

Remember the day when we were waiting for Bus 29; it was packed, people were pushing from all sides and it was such a rush to squeeze in before the doors closed..

I finally managed to get on and turned around to see where you were but I couldn't see you.. I panicked as I thought you didn't make it in.. But you were there, you did get on, you just used a different entrance and stood further down the bus aisle.. I wondered whether you chose not to stand next to me, look at me or talk to me since we only just met the day before and barely knew each other at all..

If we had only known then, that the same thought process went through our minds as you assumed of me what I assumed of you, we would have laughed at our silliness.....

Since then we have travelled many journeys and have entered many buses together but seemed to have used different entrances.. Many times silly misunderstandings? Or in fact just different ideas, different point of views, different decisions on which entrance to use? I guess we (individually) were positive that the entrance we chose was the most appropriate and just assumed that the other would follow.. I believe that it is obvious, we both assumed wrong..

But we could not have known better, we may still not understand how "it" works.. "It" being life, "it" being love, "it" being the mysterious something, the connection, between us that still remains..

Maybe it started with Bus 29 when we entered the same bus but used different doors.. And then we may have gone to the same destination but used different routes.. And later we shared the same dreams but our approach was a different one yet again.. We may or may not arrive at our destination at the same time....but it is for sure that we will both make it..

And maybe we are in different universes and may never collide again and all that will remain is the feeling of love and the memory of a time greater than words could describe..

My mojo isn't broken.. Its expectation is just much higher than what's available..

You're like Cocaine

Once I tried you, I got hooked..

..I wanted you all the time..

You had your side effects

..good and bad..

you got me to act weird at times..

I lost you there for a while..

..while I lost myself..

Maybe I consumed too much of you..

..maybe you had nothing left to give..

But you came back into my life..

..gave me a whiff of what I've been missing..

Since...
..you've been giving me a taste of you

..every now and again..

The high has always been such a pleasure..

..then it wears off and I'm merely a lost child..

..until I'm on the line again........to you..

Is this healthy? I don't wanna

answer this question..

But since I'm of an addictive nature..

..it is either Cocaine or ........... you!

Don't be in love with the sweet imagination of what could be.. Instead, be in love with reality, with the here and now, with what is and what in fact isn't..

My Prison Has Your Name On It

Your name's so bitter sweet imprinted on my mind, not to be deleted or whipped out.

Against my will it keeps repeating itself as if my thoughts were controlled by it.

It makes me uneasy and nervous.
I'm hoping, desperately wishing for time to clean up the mess.

But time has passed and still, I hear your name over and over again.

It's driving me insane.

Imprisoned by your name in my own mind.

I want to break out but I don't have the right tools or in fact any at all.
The thick concrete walls are memories, the metal beams are things that keep reminding me of you and there's only one tiny window which supposedly should stand for hope, hope to be free one day.

I don't quite know who holds the keys to free me but I'm fearing that you're the only one who could unlock the doors by providing me with those answers you never dared to give me.

But long ago you've decided to abandon the prison you created to let me rot while your name in my head's getting louder and louder.