You're erasing me over and over again.. The pencil isn't sharpened anymore and nearly worn out.. There's not much graphite left either so be careful because the next time you erase me, I might be gone for good..

no one but me and thoughts of you

I caught myself thinking of you while I waded through the snow covered streets last night.. It was freezing cold but it didn't matter.. It was snowing and the streets were quite, there was no one but me and thoughts of you..

I looked down to my boots, followed their every step, wishing they would carry me to you.. My destination was home but I questioned if that's where I'm meant to go.. I kept walking, I just wanted to escape the cold..

I still wanted to escape once I got home because there was still no one but me and thoughts of you..

So I keep walking like a blind man without a white cane or any sense of orientation.. Just hoping that by coincidence I will find the right track that will lead me to you.. Because even though I'm surrounded by life and people, it feels like there's no one but me and thoughts of you..

Bus 29

Remember the day when we were waiting for Bus 29; it was packed, people were pushing from all sides and it was such a rush to squeeze in before the doors closed..

I finally managed to get on and turned around to see where you were but I couldn't see you.. I panicked as I thought you didn't make it in.. But you were there, you did get on, you just used a different entrance and stood further down the bus aisle.. I wondered whether you chose not to stand next to me, look at me or talk to me since we only just met the day before and barely knew each other at all..

If we had only known then, that the same thought process went through our minds as you assumed of me what I assumed of you, we would have laughed at our silliness.....

Since then we have travelled many journeys and have entered many buses together but seemed to have used different entrances.. Many times silly misunderstandings? Or in fact just different ideas, different point of views, different decisions on which entrance to use? I guess we (individually) were positive that the entrance we chose was the most appropriate and just assumed that the other would follow.. I believe that it is obvious, we both assumed wrong..

But we could not have known better, we may still not understand how "it" works.. "It" being life, "it" being love, "it" being the mysterious something, the connection, between us that still remains..

Maybe it started with Bus 29 when we entered the same bus but used different doors.. And then we may have gone to the same destination but used different routes.. And later we shared the same dreams but our approach was a different one yet again.. We may or may not arrive at our destination at the same time....but it is for sure that we will both make it..

And maybe we are in different universes and may never collide again and all that will remain is the feeling of love and the memory of a time greater than words could describe..

My mojo isn't broken.. Its expectation is just much higher than what's available..

You're like Cocaine

Once I tried you, I got hooked..

..I wanted you all the time..

You had your side effects

..good and bad..

you got me to act weird at times..

I lost you there for a while..

..while I lost myself..

Maybe I consumed too much of you..

..maybe you had nothing left to give..

But you came back into my life..

..gave me a whiff of what I've been missing..

Since...
..you've been giving me a taste of you

..every now and again..

The high has always been such a pleasure..

..then it wears off and I'm merely a lost child..

..until I'm on the line again........to you..

Is this healthy? I don't wanna

answer this question..

But since I'm of an addictive nature..

..it is either Cocaine or ........... you!

Don't be in love with the sweet imagination of what could be.. Instead, be in love with reality, with the here and now, with what is and what in fact isn't..

My Prison Has Your Name On It

Your name's so bitter sweet imprinted on my mind, not to be deleted or whipped out.

Against my will it keeps repeating itself as if my thoughts were controlled by it.

It makes me uneasy and nervous.
I'm hoping, desperately wishing for time to clean up the mess.

But time has passed and still, I hear your name over and over again.

It's driving me insane.

Imprisoned by your name in my own mind.

I want to break out but I don't have the right tools or in fact any at all.
The thick concrete walls are memories, the metal beams are things that keep reminding me of you and there's only one tiny window which supposedly should stand for hope, hope to be free one day.

I don't quite know who holds the keys to free me but I'm fearing that you're the only one who could unlock the doors by providing me with those answers you never dared to give me.

But long ago you've decided to abandon the prison you created to let me rot while your name in my head's getting louder and louder.